misery, it isn't just for breakfast anymore

Of all of Tchaikovsky's ballets, I think I like Sleeping Beauty the most. Now, that initially had nothing to do with what I was intending to write, but now it seems to play a role. Have you ever felt like you didn't fit in your own skin? I have always had the feeling that I was hyper-emotional--that I had a greater capacity for "feeling" than most people around me. When I was younger, I was made to feel like I was beyond abnormal: I felt like I was a freak for having such depth of imagination, and drama, and passion. Had I been my child, I would have actively sought every outlet for that passion, all the time reaffirming in my child's mind and heart that there is NOTHING they cannot do. Yea...not exactly the environment of my youth. But I digress...or do I?? So having been brought up with the antithesis of the above-described encouragement, I never really thought of dreams as attainable. And that disappointment was confirmed time after time...parts I auditioned for, offices I ran for, happily-ever-afters I accidentally allowed myself to fall for...And I would KICK myself for believing, but eventually I realized that I could dream without believing, and I think I still do today. I am, sadly, a sort of milennium Walter Mitty--inspired by the most mundane of moments to exotic flights of fantasy and fantastic adventures. The idea could last a moment, being broken by the ghostly swinging wide of the Target double doors. Or, a storyline, exactly like (and often the inspiration of) my next great treatment or teleplay, may become enormously intricate, and weave it's own tale for years before burning itself out. Regardless, it is all dreaming absent believing, and I am finally grasping the reality that this may very well be as good as it gets. Awwww, there is that damn Sargento cheese commercial again--the one that perverted my beautiful memories of the sublime and elegant Sleeping Beauty ballet. Ah ha, shattered dreams..."she will PRICK her finger on a needle, and die!" TY Tchaikovsky! Now THAT was a waltz!