i will survive...

or not. Because sooner or later, the "big one" is going to hit the city of San Francisco--and I mean THE CITY, not the rural area adjacent to the tiny, laid back college town of Santa Cruz more than an hour's drive away. Because it will be on the San Andreas fault, the boundary between the Pacific and the North American tectonic plates. It is around the Pacific plate that the "Ring of Fire" exists, a variety of subduction zones where we see a lot of little activity going on....Indonesia, Alaska, earthquakes and volcanic activity, etc. Having just celebrated the 100th Anniversary of the Great Quake of 1906 (the officially sanctioned name being the Great FIRE, to bolster an advertising concept of rebirth as if a Phoenix from the flames), we are not only reminded of the incredible devastation that even a moderately large earthquake can cause, but the fact that along the San Andreas, there is a cycle of about 80 years between moderate to major quakes...and so we are already 20 years late. As those hyper-stylish guys at the USGS like to say, "It is not a matter of if, but when..." Now, I've been in three or four moderate quakes (4-6), and a couple of dozen smallish ones (3-4). I have always had the same reaction, which I think most earthquake area residents experience...within the first second you ask yourself, "Is this the big one??" You have a major fear response...my adrenalin rushes, for a fraction of a second I am frozen by fear, and after which I rush to the nearest door frame or sturdy table and face away from glass. After that, everything is a blur as my body tries to calm itself down. (The reactions are conditioned, from years of earthquake drills in classrooms that had one entire wall that was a floor-to-ceiling window.) When it is over, there are several residual effects: sonic seas of car alarms going off in different keys and at different tempos, panicked screaming and crying, a gentle swaying of the ground back and forth, as if you are standing on a slab of cement set on rolling pins (mainly after southern california quakes), or, suddenly, another earthquake. But since my last big quake, I am living a whole new life. I have no prior experience with earthquakes as a Mommy and a homeowner...First and foremost, where will I be in relation to my kids? How long will it take me to get to them? Then what about the house? How long before the boys hear from their father? As reality continues to set in, the risk of aftershocks continues...how much emergency water do we have? Where is the gas valve? How much food and cash do we have on hand? Do we have anything to secure over the windows where glass is broken out? How will we defend against looters? Is it going to be freezing cold at night without electricity? Is it going to be unbearably hot? How many days will we be without power? Water? Gas? Oh no...how much gas do I have in the car? This will surely send local prices into the $7 range, if fuel is available at all...How do we know if the house is stable? We don't have earthquake insurance, and if we did, the best policies start with a $10K deductible...i wonder if the roads are in tact..should we go clean out the Safeway now? We are probably already too late...we have what we have. Oh shit! What if it was, or was accompanied by, an offshore earthquake?! Could there be an impending tsunami? How far inland will it reach? What has happened to all of my friends who live in the Marina District, or on the San Andreas itself, which essentially ran under the neighborhood in which I grew up. What if some psycho terrorists decide this is a good time to strike, while we are in a crisis...What if I don't have to worry about these things when the shaking ends...........